Tired

Lost in a state where there is no time. As though to wake up in an unfamiliar place with no color in a sepia landscape, seeing no movement less the branches of the leafless trees in the cool breeze.

1-1-12 blog

http://youtu.be/ipxo6RzHSok

Much needed

We need this snow so bad. I pray we don't go through the drought we went through last summer.

Remembering the days

I have this photo above our bed and I see everyday the happy smiles Bonnie and I had while living in Alaska. We used to love hiking flat top in Anchorage Alaska.

Honestly

This is something that really kind of bothers me for some reason. I don't know why I think of it with the intensity that I do but there is going to come a day when my family leaves this town. Bonnie already has plans for where she would like to move the boys and truthfully most anywhere would be better than where we are at now. Pueblo has been my families home for 5 generations now and we have some of that family left here at the Mountain View Cemetery. My Grandma Pinky, Grandad Charles, Great Grandma Tootsy and my little sister Tashina all rest in peace here. Not too far west up in the mountains lies the remains of my Father. This site currently is only known by myself and no one but myself and Lynn know of its location.

Something in my heart fears that one day I will move my family away from here and that it will be far away, potentially back to Alaska. Who will visit the sites to put flowers down or maybe just to sit and share some thoughts or secrets that seemed to be so important in life. I find maybe it's just me though, that needs this link, this portal into time of which I get to share my needs as a person. I can't imagine after I am gone that there will be much in the way of family that will return to resting siblings to remember and maybe connect, even if only for the small amount of time while in presence.

With exception to my Bonnie and my boys, I feel my Blood is gone. I believe I have been part of the act in a book that ended with plenty of excitement and mystery. Love and Lies. A book with a story filled with dreams where things happened in a way that others made it with my control never truly being at my hand. Now is the time as I was told to start my new book. Yet this was a couple years back I am starting to see why and I am filled with ideas and thoughts on how and where to take this new story. This book will be lucid. This story will not be of any one center of attention but only for the group, the ones who stay together, working to assure connection is never lost. Family.

There is a place to materialize the souls of my family before me. I visit. I share time and space. I am the last of my family that will do this with the loved ones from this area. With only one that does not have this treatment I share the most freedom. My father rests in an unmarked location and when I am gone only the wind will speak of his physical domain. Free to blow in the wind and feel the sun and moon. Not imprisoned in a box on grounds hallowed where no one comes to share time and space.

Give me freedom when my time comes but for now I share here with my ancients.

Austin Smiles

My 17 month old son Austin can make you smile even on the worst of days.

Peach Transfer

Today I'm transferring the peach wine from one 6 gallon glass carboy to another. This is called Racking. Last week I was concerned that there may be something wrong with the wine but now that I have it out in good light I am sure that there is nothing wrong. The wine will stay in the new carboy for about 2 weeks then I'll bottle it up. This wine is 17 months old.